So another budget and it seems Britain is more broken than ever. Although it really depends who you listen to and what your position is. But is the economy, or anything else for that matter, really to blame for your situation?
Blame is the name of the game! As a therapist and change worker, one thing I hear every day is clients blaming everything from family members, other people, the economy and even the position of the planets (crazy but true) for their current situation.
Let me tell you a little secret when it comes to blaming other people and/or circumstances: No one cares! No one cares about your situation or what you think is to blame for your hardship. Not only do people not care, they don’t want to hear about it either.
One of my favourite quotes is “It might not be your fault you got knocked down, but it is your responsibility to get back up”. Every day you make a variety of decisions that either move you forward or keep you stuck. I totally understand the ease and seductive qualities of not changing, after all it is much easier to do that than make changes in your life. You may even read a lot of self help books thinking it will change you. How many self helps have you read now, even worse how many have you started and not even finished?
So why am I banging on about blame and taking responsibility? It is because I have worked with a huge number of clients and genuinely helped them get change in their daily life. I help to facilitate change on a deep level which can have profound effects on your quality of life. I do not offer a magic pill or an instant fix. However I can help to change a lot of painful memories, beliefs and anxiety issues.
I have a unique was of working with clients. The 5 main things are;
1. I work content free
A lot of people want to seek help but are embarrassed about their situation. You may have suffered abuse or done something you are ashamed of. You know that speaking with a therapist is confidential, but still you don’t want to actually tell another human being about your problem. I completely understand, and I do not need to know the actual content of the issue to help you. All I need to know is how you form the memory (for example are they like movies, pictures, body sensations etc). This allows you to fully connect into the issue to make changes, without ever having to talk about what it is. Cool hey.
2. I do not support your problem
I am not here to tell you everything is going to be OK. I am here to help you change, not to validate your excuses. You might be in a terrible situation, I am here to help you change what you are doing to help with that.
3. I do not want to hear how bad your life is, I am simply not interested
Counselling and support has its place, but not in my clinic. I am not here for you to offload your problems onto. I am here to help you change the way you deal with them. In my sessions the first 5 minutes is set aside for you to explain the issue/s, the rest of the time we focus on changing it.
4. I do not help create an outcome
Outcomes and goals are buzzwords in therapy. Trying to create a positive outcome for a problem is easy to sell to someone who is in pain and seeking a solution. By creating an outcome or goal, it focuses you away from what the problem really is. I focus my attention on the problem you are in, and how to get you to change.
5. We do things my way
I am an expert in helping people change. We do things my way, or no way. I have full confidence in my approach and my techniques.
If you are in a position where you are ready to change, then I may just be able to help you improve your quality of life more than could ever imagine. Below is a selection of testimonials from a range of clients including doctors, lawyers, students and even police. I typically see clients for 3 sessions from my clinic on Old Street (and soon Harley Street) and I charge £100 per session. I have limited availability as I am involved with several projects, but I do have some sessions available.
If you are interested, email me at email@example.com You can also listen to hours of interviews with past clients here http://www.youtube.com/user/RWHmattkendall
Of course you can always continue to blame others for your situation or better still ask the universe or use positive thinking!
Feedback from clients
25 man suffering from social anxiety around friends and family
I found Matt randomly through a google search for hypnotherapy on social anxiety and was amazed at his website. With Matt’s straight up approach to the condition and how to deal with it in a more structured way made my recovery a lot quicker and faster than I could imagine.
I can now face people and events with ease and not have to worry about how I look or am coming across or if they notice any of my odd symptoms etc. EMDR (one of the techniques Matt uses) is a great tool and has helped me move on and tackle my problems not only more effectively but much quicker than other therapies out there (and I’ve had a few believe me).
If you have an emotional issue and want to change your life for the better, go and see Matt and see what he can do for you!
Solicitor suffering from work stress
I suppose you do have a little fear before the session, just as it’s a new experience, but from chatting things through with Matt he clearly explained all the processes before they happened – just what I needed to gain a little understanding and to be able to discuss my issues.
I had been suffering from a lot of stress at work which had made me irritable at home and with my family. I started to become over emotional about small problems in which I would over react.
After the session I felt extremely relaxed, walking tall and seemingly with all tension out of my body – I like the idea of being able to re-empty the ‘stress pot’ on demand! Since the sessions I have been able to address my problems much more logically and put things into perspective.
Company managing director suffering from work related stress and compulsive eating
I needed to write to sincerely thank you for introducing me to Hypnotherapy, I arrived to you in a state of the “unknown” and the “unsure”. I knew I needed some form of help and was totally open to anything, and quite by chance found your advert. I felt anxious, totally stressed out, wanting to hide away from the world, eat my way to comfort through food and chocolate. Something I rarely eat, but some how over the past 12 months it has become a major part of my eating life style. My weight was gaining and the lack of will power, drive and focus, lead me to do no exercise and being unable to grasp a routine through constant travelling, I saw no end to my down ward slide. I felt totally at a lose with myself, irrational, out of control and as a company founder and Managing Director the need for me to be in control, focus and a leader are essential and my present state affects many lives and lively hoods.
From the start of our meeting where you explained that my state was nothing unique, I found that I did trust, but more so believe you. Your explanations, reasoning, thoughts, behind this and your personal aura was so profoundly comforting. I came with no assumptions and I can honestly say that you changed my whole outlook, state of mind and inner feeling of despair. This first session brought me from a pit of darkness, to a beaming smile and I held an incredible feeling within me, a feeling that I could take control and do what was required without feeling uncontrollable stressed. The treatment/experience left me feeling incredible rested, at peace, happy, calm but most of all me, something that I had not felt for months and even today as I write my sincere letter of thanks the feeling is still there – as well as a smile. I know a have more work to do myself, but with your guidance and support I feel 75% there.
With sincere thanks
R. Chapman, Cheshire
29 housewife suffering with panic attacks
I have prepared the following testimonial, I hope it’s OK.
As a newcomer to hynotherapy I really did not know what to expect from my first session. I had been having an extremely difficult time and had tried many things to feel better but really needed a final push. One session with Matt has had a dramatic impact. I feel much more confident and my friends have commented on the positive change. Matt makes you feel extremely relaxed and secure and the fact that he involves you and communicates so well builds trust. I would definitely recommend hypnotherapy with Matt to anyone.
Thanks again Matt, I may already have a client for you.
Imogen, Primrose Hill
Professional writer suffering from family related stress issues
I approached my first hypnotherapy session with what I’m sure must be a common mixture of emotions – excitement, because I hoped I was on the verge of a breakthrough in dealing with a difficult issue in my life, and no small measure of anxiety too. My greatest worry was that I would not be able to let go enough to achieve the mental state needed to make the treatment work.
My first impression of Matt was that he really believes in what he does and in the power of hynotherapy to bring positive change to people’s lives. He approaches the subject very much from a scientific perspective, working with known facts about how the brain and human emotions work. I felt reassured by his confidence and it motivated me to play my part in the process, because successful hypnotherapy is not, as I previously believed, something done to you, but a joint effort. Matt encouraged me to talk a lot about myself and what I wanted to achieve from the treatment. This wasn’t always easy, so it is a testimony to his ability to put clients at ease that I was able to be completely open with him and not ‘edit’ my story in any way. I had the sense that he was there to help, not judge me, and that he would not be uncomfortable with anything I wanted to raise.
I think this was critical to the success of the treatment, as it gave Matt a real insight into the underlying issues, not just the symptoms I reported. The actual process of being hypnotised led on from the discussion in a very natural way and I found it surprisingly easy to achieve a deep level of relaxation whilst retaining an element of control and the ability to communicate with Matt. Clinical hypnotherapy bears no resemblance to any of the popular stereotypes about hypnosis and is a safe and powerful way to take control of your mind and the way you see things. I have no hesitation in recommending Matt to anyone looking to make important changes in their life.
Kate Smith, Muswell Hill, London
Solicitor suffering from anxiety due to past issues
“The hypnosis itself was a very relaxing experience, and I was left with a slight tingling sensation in my hands and feet, but it was actually quite pleasant. It was like having a night of really refreshing sleep, and when I woke up, there were no unpleasant after effects, no worries about what had just happened.
We worked primarily on removing a few mental blockages which I had, which were preventing me from living a happy and fulfilled life. In the space of just one session, I noticed a difference between how I was before and how I was afterwards. I felt relaxed, calm, and content.
There is a significant difference in the way I engage with the world around me now. I am no longer as quiet and withdrawn, and instead I can just go out and be myself, without feeling anxious, or worrying about how other people see me.
At all times Matt was a calming influence, he talked me through what we would be doing, he helped to identify some of my biggest issues, and how we would overcome them. At no time did I feel out of control, or that I would be made to do something I was uncomfortable with.
God job Matt!”
Steven, Highgate London
I had just a couple of sessions with Matt last year, and they have really made a difference in my attitude to social situations and relating to women. I had a couple of unpleasant experiences in my teens, to do with pubs and strange women, and let’s not even talk about drunken women! I hadn’t really realised how much that affected me, just told myself that I was just an introverted guy, and there were other places I could meet women.
Anyway, I was a little sceptical about hypnosis but Matt calmly and professionally explained it all, so I gave it a go and now, though I’m aware of those memories, they are foggy and have no emotional impact. That has allowed me to be comfortable in pubs and clubs and socialize with women in a way that I couldn’t have done a couple of years ago. It’s great, now I have lots of positive experiences and emotions to remember! Thanks Matt
I came to see Matt initially having come out of a difficult relationship and suffering from a general lack of confidence. As a newcomer to hypnotherapy, I was quite apprehensive as I didn’t know what to expect. After the first session all the anxiety and tension had drained from my body and I felt incredible!
With each subsequent session I really started to think with greater clarity and focus. Matt clearly explained everything at the beginning of each session and was always very welcoming and professional. He has completely charged my idea of what hypnotherapy is and what it can do to revolutionise people’s live.
“Matt is friendly and relaxed, and I felt that he was able to coax out my inner game issues even though they were not obvious to me. The hypnotherapy process was most enjoyable and fun, and the benefits to my game were apparent immediately.”
Hope this is cool. See you soon.
Mr S, London
Matt worked with me last year for my social anxiety and approaching girls. I was extremely anxious, I can’t emphasize this enough. I was so scared it was hard to sleep for a few days. I looked and felt like hell. The thought of going out on the streets to try to pick up girls had me scared to death.
Matt worked with me and hypnotized me. It was different that I thought it would be. What I remember the most was feeling peaceful and my fears starting to wash away. It was pleasant. I had never been hypnotized before, so this was a first for me. I used to have a lot of fear over simply walking up to a girl in a noisy night club and getting my voice tangled. I had this fear that my voice would freeze up, because it often did and I hardly ever talked to women in these situations.
After working with Matt this is no longer an issue for me. I’m better off now than before I met Matt. If I look back on the training that I did, which was a week long, I would say that things got a lot easier for me AFTER working with Matt.
If you have never been hypnotized I recommend it. It leaves you feeling a lot better. I would work with Matt again too. He’s also a very cool dude. Check him out, you won’t be sorry!
I can’t remember exactly how I first heard of Matt but it was somewhere on the Internet. It may well have been a youtube testimonial.
At the time I was in a bad way due to some experiences I had had whilst living in South Korea. I don’t want to delve into these, in fact myself and Matt never discussed what happened in any depth, but it was fair to say them stemmed from things that had happened long before I had gone to Korea.
When I was younger I had suffered with depression (16-24ish) off and on. Despite making a lot of progress with it setbacks and knocks would cause me to become very negative very quickly which would then spiral downwards. In Korea a lot of this resurfaced.
I had some experience of both hypnosis and NLP. Obviously neither had completely worked. Matt’s approach was different; he used a technique called EMDR to help me re-process the memories and experiences that were causing me problems.
What that looked like was.., well it looked like someone waving a pen in front of my face. Whilst this happened Matt would ask me to follow it with my eyes whilst thinking of the memories strongly. This probably sounds bizarre but the effect has been amazing. The strength of the emotional sensation associated with memory is lessened. This causes the memory to resonate with you less; some almost feel as if they shift in your mind or fade.
This occurred for two sessions; in the second I’d brought with me a list of memories I wanted him to work on. Again, it sounds like a strange process but actually the change in me is profound.
I can safely say that the memories and things that used to bother me don’t any more, I can see the same images and hear the same things but without being affected by them.
Something that was clearly joined with the other issues was a lack of direction in my life. This was causing me to be unsure what to do next and to be honest I’d been in this limbo for some time. I’d never really had any great idea about what career I’d wanted to do which had meant I’d dip my toe into something then jump straight back out then usually end up living at home again. This was a disheartening process, always moving back to square one.
In our final session Matt guided me through a ‘thought experiment’ that helped me to discover what I actually wanted to do with my future. I won’t fill in all the details but I was surprised with the outcome. The more I have considered it since the more it seems to fit with the lifestyle I want to have and I’ve been making steps to get myself moving in that direction.
Since the final session things have continued to improve. Having a proper direction to move in gives everything, including the work I am doing at the moment, more purpose than I might have attributed to it before. I have worked in office jobs before and usually find them dull. This used to get to me, causing me to be miserable, negative or irritable. Now though I am much more positive towards everything. I grin all the time at work too and seem to be the most relaxed person in the department.
Recently I have been planning courses to take and strategies to use when embarking on my new career. Obviously it’s not something I can just walk into but I feel confident that with the right amount of time and effort that I can be successful in it. This positive attitude towards it is a massive change from how I would have viewed something like this previously. I am realistic about it, however I would have focused on all the reasons not to do it rather than the reasons to do it.
I guess if you’re reading this then chances are you are considering session with Matt. Obviously I don’t know what you issues are. What I would say though is if you feel you are unable to find the right path or struggling on the right one because of things that happened in the past then ask yourself whether the unnecessary struggle is worth it.
Since the sessions I’ve noticed a huge change in my outlook and this has flowed into everything I’ve done. I’ve been happier, more relaxed and more confident about the future, which in turn makes me a more fun person to be around because I’m simply happier being me.
I first went to see Matt because I had problems with PM (premature ejaculation), ED (erectile dysfunction) and overall low and depressed feelings. Not knowing what to expect or if he could even help me at all I booked a session after first speaking with him by email and on the phone.
I liked what he had written on forums and his website about different topics and what he was able to do but was still sceptical as I’d tried every technique I’d read about to help myself and seen a sex specialist who although was very good and knowledgeable was unable to help me. After only a few minutes on the phone I became extremely confident Matt understood the issue well and I booked a session.
I don’t know how the therapy works but it did. I left the first session feeling a lot calmer and happier but was still having sex problems. However I didn’t care at all, I felt better each day about things. Less helpless and stressed. Unfortunately a few more stressful events happened in my life afterwards which got me down before the second session. But I coped well I think because of Matt.
After our second hour together I felt better again. Calm and relaxed and very motivated. I handled everything life had to throw at me during that period. And not straight away but over the next few months my sex problems evaporated. I don’t get down anymore, I don’t have ED or PE anymore.
I know this type of therapy is something I can and will always revert to if l’m ever in trouble again. I’m thankful to Matt and his dedication to his work. He was confident, reassuring and very impressive with what he did and I really believe in the type of therapy we tried and that it can work for anything. For me it extended way beyond what I went there for help with and I’m happier, healthier and more confident than I’ve ever been following our time together.
I have struggled with Anxiety and Depression for most of my life. I have seen many specialists to do with mental health, and seeked advice from dozens of people.
I am finally getting to a stage where I would I have almost overcome these problems.
I am extremely happy to highly recommend Matt Kendall for his services to do with hypnosis, dating advice and career/business advice. I want to stress that he will not give you the magic solution to all your problems, because this does not exist, in a long term sense at least. What Matt does is give you very personnel, detailed and practical advice, which can take or leave. He is very good at giving efficient solutions to problems that people may come across in their lives, and he has a great ability to explain what may work and why, which should never be underestimated.
For what seemed like a long time, I’d been experiencing an certain empty, dissatisfied feeling in my life. It was always there, sometimes a subdued feeling, sometimes fairly intense. I guess there were many different ways in which it affected my life, some of which I’d not even really thought about. Most apparently though, or at least most frustratingly in my relationships with women. Although I’d dated girls I’d never been in a proper relationship. I felt I didn’t really know how to assert myself sexually with women. This feeling seemed to amplify as time passed me by, and I saw others around me getting into relationships, married etc.
I had originally met Matt through a PUA training bootcamp where he gave a seminar on inner-game issues and general dating tips. I didn’t know much about how ‘pick-up’ worked, but I attended the bootcamp in the hope that I’d be able to sort out my problem. I enjoyed the weekend a lot but felt I wasn’t really addressing my issues so much as pretending to be a person who didn’t have those issues, using learned techniques. Matt’s seminar however, touched on a few things that I thought might actually be able to help for real. Or at least, help me fix those underlying issues first in order for the other things I learned at the bootcamp to not feel in-congruent with who I am as a person. So I booked a one-on-one session with Matt, hoping to understand more about myself, how I got into the situation I found myself in, and how to get out.
I’d never been hypnotized before and I wasn’t sure what to expect. I’d describe the sensation as a deeply relaxed state, where my thoughts and memories appeared much more clearly and vividly than usual. Matt asked me to describe my issues and feelings visually, and asked me questions throughout to help me clarify and pinpoint the problems more specifically, as well as how they were affecting me. Matt explained to me and reiterated throughout the session that he couldn’t, or wouldn’t ‘solve’ my problems but would help me outline a plan of actions to take which would help me move in the right direction and over time eliminate the issues I was facing. The first lesson was like taking a jigsaw-puzzle box and emptying the contents all over the table. My mind felt scrambled and a little overwhelmed but now at least I had accounted for everything that was there. I knew what I was looking at. By the end of the second (and final) session I was starting to put those pieces of the puzzle together again in their correct places, having decided with Matt a list of specific actions I was going to take in my life in order to achieve the things I wanted to achieve.
In the following months I started to see the results of my actions. Some of the things I’d discussed with Matt and decided up on exploring further helped a lot, and honestly, some turned out to be dead-ends. But even so, through taking action I was slowly learning what was important to me solving my problems, and what wasn’t necessary. I was starting to re-align my priorities in life, the people most important to me and also the expectations placed on me by myself and others.
One of the simplest exercises Matt gave me was to create things in my life to look forward to, and work towards – events, holidays, career plans, anything. That in itself helped me regain a certain focus in my life that I felt I’d lost somewhere along the way. I feel a lot happier in myself these days, a lot more excited and optimistic for the future.
Just wanted to say a huge thank you for all the work you have done. I feel like I’m truly making the most of everyday situations and find myself happier than I can remember being in a long time. I must admit, perhaps due to the nature of my job (I work as a doctor) I approached our session with a little (unhealthy) skepticism towards your approaches on behavioural change. Simply put; I couldn’t have been more wrong. There’s a wonderful combination of methods I don’t understand, and advise so straightforward I think it often gets overlooked; If you don’t like where you live, move!
Our sessions and subsequent correspondence have been a catalyst to me trying new things, increasing my productivity and most importantly having more fun.
Best thing is….it snowballs :-)
I would recommend your work to anyone seeking to improve their lifestyle.
Hope to catch up soon.
Every best wish